Internal Error: Ramblings (1)
Sleepless thoughts on writing.
I found myself caught up in another night of restlessness where sleep seems to be some far-off concept reserved for the quiet-minded. Instead of tossing and turning while wrestling with ideas and thoughts, I hope writing all of this out will douse my brain fire with a much-needed lavender-scented blanket.
Writing is hard...I mean really it is. People like to say that in comics writing is the easiest job. However, writing quality stories that you can be proud of, that's a chore. It only gets worse when you work in prose as well. Then, there are no pretty pictures to distract the reader from your negligence of storytelling.
I have great respect for both mediums and really any medium that involves pouring your thoughts into characters and places that attempt to capture the reader. It can be so terribly taxing on the creator. I find myself wrestling with character arcs and which story elements are "needed" vs "wanted" so often. I think it's important to recognize our own imperfections when trying to create our worlds.
Embracing your current circumstances, mindsets and all, helps to cultivate a storyline that gives a perspective through your eyes. It is hard work, and no one should tell you otherwise.
Often, as the writer, you also become the project manager. For some people, they absolutely love it. For others, it is a trash job that we wouldn't wish on our worst enemies. I have been at this for a few years now, and I am growing to recognize that I fall somewhere in between. I love the writing, it is the purest form of a creative outlet for me. I enjoy managing teams of creatives to see stories through to production. To clarify, I enjoy working with other people toward a common goal. I absolutely despise the business side of all this though. I have never claimed to be good at it, even when I keep trying to learn more and more.
Now, I am sitting in bed writing this whole article on my phone while I keep wondering "What the heck am I going to do to make Fall of Knight work?". It's hard putting your creations out into a world that is already saturated with comics as it is. Then you add bare bodies on covers on top of that and it leaves a lot of the rest of us out here wondering "Is anyone even going to see my book?" Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it really is an awful time to try and publish. Maybe the market is buckling, the economy sure seems to be. Maybe those excuses are exactly why I need to keep pushing on anyway.
You can't stop creativity. If you try to and are truly a creative person, it will eat away at your very being. I've been in times like that, where I was so trapped in a lack of passion and felt so bogged down by life that I couldn't even write a thought on a post-it. Sure, I don't talk about that side of stuff much. I prefer to focus on the forward and not the backward. However, you should never feel alone in those seasons. Keep thinking about those stories, until one day you can't sleep until you write something down.
Alright, I'm supposed to start the massive task of writing a coherent chapter one of a new book tomorrow...maybe airing all of this out will help me sleep...time will tell.
As always,
Do better. Be better.